Tripping Through Passport Kontrolle

Our flight to the Germany was uneventful until we got to passport control in Munich. As we approached the line I said, "OK kids, just let me do all the talking." Michelle had warned me that there might be trouble over the length or our stay. So when the passport control officer asked, "How long are you staying?" I took "you" as second person singular, not plural, and replied, "Until mid October." Things went off the rails when Tobias piped up: "Dad, you're staying until mid October. We're staying until January."

I should mention that Tobias had stayed awake the whole flight gorging himself on the movie, game, and cartoon options available on the video screen on the back of the seat in front of him. Then, when the flight attendant came around to serve drinks at about sunrise over the English Channel, he jumped at an offer for a cup of coffee. So we found ourselves at passport control with Tobias frazzled by electronic over-stimulation, lack of sleep, and caffeine. His jaw was flapping with abandon, unchecked by any part of his brain, or by my warning to leave the talking up to me.

When he said "We're staying until January," the passport control officer sat up, looked at me and began, "That's not possible!" She went on to explain that such a long stay would require approval from the German embassy, registration with the local police, and other things that added up to what sounded like and an arduous trip through bureaucratic hell. "Yes, yes," my groveling began. I told her my wife had informed me that we must register the children, that we would do that first thing Monday morning, that all would be taken care of by the book. "You must do that!" the passport control officer finally said to me. "I could send you all back to the United States right now, but I'm not going to do that."

She then stamped our passports, and sent us on our way. The moral of the story? Next time a flight attendant offers coffee to Tobias, I best not pretend I don't hear it, and decline the offer on his behalf with all due haste.